Male Bonding
by Over8000
Summary: Vegeta and Raditz decide to engage in a pranking contest. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Short story in the same universe as "You Can Break Me but Can't Take My Pride"
1. Dish Duty

**A little bit of light-hearted 'fun' set in the same universe as "You Can Break Me but Can't Take My Pride". Vegeta is 11 and Raditz is 16**

Credit where credit is due:

 _This story is brought to you courtesy of Jacked Doritos(™) and Under8000_

 _Thanks to MegaKat for allowing me to borrow her Saiyan Language_

 _And of course a big thank you to my beta reader TheAsh0_

Saiyan Words used:

Getau - friends/allies

Heu - gods

Ji'tach - a Saiyan fighting team

Ma'tapa - loosely translates to 'motherfucker'

Ve'ho - prince

The back room of Mess Hall Five was hot, humid, and cramped. Large stacks of dishes, brought in by a conveyor belt, had piled up during the First Shift morning meal. Serving trays, bowls, glasses, utensils, and cookware; most still filled with remnants of food or drink, teetered at eye height and had started to overflow onto the floor as well, to create a broken mess of waste and shattered glass.

Vegeta steamed, both figuratively and literally, over the mess as if it were a personal affront to his royal pride. Didn't these barbarians know how to scrape their fucking trays off? His bangs hung limp in front of his eyes, and he was coated in a fine layer of sweat already.

This should not be happening to him. He was a prince, by the Gods, not some lowly kitchen drudge meant for menial labor! His hands - currently clad in nasty rubber gloves - were meant for dealing out death, and not scraping away some lazy ingrate's leftovers. It was humiliating! Yet here he was, sent as punishment by Dodoria for 'causing a commotion in the mess hall' and 'wasting food'.

Yeah, right. Causing a commotion… Like it had been his fucking Ginyus had gone out of their way to gang up on him. Raditz had been with Vegeta as always, but had been ambushed by their cronies just as Vegeta set foot in the cafeteria. The prince was left to face his nemeses alone, surrounded by a room full of enemies whose only means of aid would be to chant for his blood.

So, what was he supposed to do, just bend over and take it without a struggle? If he did not fight back he would look like a fucking pansy in front of the entire PTO - or at least those at breakfast - and that was pretty much the same thing. Rumors travelled faster than light around Home Base FP-79. Or he could turn tail run, and that would be no better. Within an hour, everyone and their mother would have heard that Vegeta had run like a bitch. Both choices just sucked.

No, he would not run and he would not hide. Not while there was breath in his body. Vegeta had done the honorable thing, the Saiyan thing, and fought back while the other rank and file watched in amusement and egged them on. It was only five to one, no big deal. By the time Raditz freed himself, the fight had begun and spread through the room like wildfire, as such fights have a way of doing. Those who chose not to engage in trading blows flipped over tables for shelter and lobbed their food and dishes.. It was a loud, messy and confusing clusterfuck that rapidly got out of hand. Vegeta knew who would be blamed.

He gave as good as he got and even managed a few good hits on Jeice before the guards came in to try and break it up, yelling and waving about ineffectively. No one paid attention to them over the din. A few minutes later, Dodoria stormed in, his face contorted in a spiky pink rage. Vegeta was in a headlock by that point, covered in food and bloodied up.

"Enough," the massive General roared.

The fight immediately screeched to a halt. People stopped pummelling each other, others dropped their edible missiles. Everyone shut up and snapped to attention. Jeice released him, and Vegeta scrambled to his feet. Off to one side, Raditz shook off four soldiers who had been trying to pin him down. The Ginyu Force adopted lazy, half-hearted salutes and plastered wide grins on their hated faces. They all outranked Dodoria, so they did not have to kowtow to him.

Dodoria stomped over to where Vegeta stood, covered in food and blood. The Saiyan's hair was slicked down with refuse, his armor a mottled pattern of colorful splotches, and one of his eyes had begun to swell.

"Oh, 'ello General," Jeice drawled in his thick accent. He wiped one gloved hand across his face, it came away a dull pink. The Brench warrior grinned, then patted Vegeta on the shoulder as if they were best of friends. "We was just leavin'. Vegeta, we'll catch up later. Alright, mate?"

Then they sauntered away, Lords of the Base, untouchable. Gods, how Vegeta hated them.

Vegeta opened his mouth to explain his pitiful state and to tell Dodoria what had happened. "General, I -"

"Do I look like I care?" Dodoria scowled around the destroyed mess hall, and his face contorted even further. He pointed his meaty fist at Vegeta and Raditz as if ready to blast them into oblivion, then appeared to reconsider. "You two monkeys, get your asses in the back. Cleanup duty, NOW! And don't think I'm not checking up!"

Vegeta's jaw dropped, and he had to bite his tongue to suppress a howl of rage. "But - "

Dodoria took another step forward, grabbed Vegeta by the front of his chestplate and hoisted him off his feet so they were eye to eye. "If I hear one more word out of you, Monkey Prince, I will personally make sure you don't eat for an entire week. Do make myself clear?"

Some soldiers snickered behind their palms, enjoying the free entertainment at Vegeta's expense. Others did not bother to hide their scorn; they laughed outright and flung insults much as they had flung food before.

Vegeta held Dodoria's beady gaze for as long as he dared; he did not want to back down or appear like a coward. But in the end, he was forced to break eye contact before Frieza's right hand man decided to do more than give him mess duty.

"Clear, sir," the Saiyan grated out through clenched teeth.

Dodoria dropped him without another word and Vegeta landed on his feet. The prince straightened up, dusted off his armor, then marched towards the back room like it had been his choice. He kept his head high, eyes forward, and ignored the jeers.

Vegeta had not had his breakfast. He had not even made it to the servers.

Now he and Raditz were here, dealing in filth and waste and starving to death. The worst part was that they could not quiet their hunger pangs by eating the remains of the other soldiers' meals. The organic remains were disposed of in a waste bin that mixed into a disgusting sludge that Vegeta's pride would not allow him to touch. His stomach howled in protest and he bared his teeth in barely contained rage.

"Fucking Ginyus! Fucking Dodoria," Vegeta ranted. "That ma'tapa couldn't even be bothered to listen to me."

"Did you think he would?" Raditz replied. He was up to his elbows in hot sudsy water. The dishwasher was broken and waiting on repairs, so everything had to be washed by hand. Of course. "Vegeta, it wouldn't matter if there was evidence on camera and the entire PTO vouched for you. That pink fuck would still side with the Ginyus."

"Thanks, Raditz. I feel much better now."

Vegeta stared down at the oversized gloves that covered his hands, and growled low in the back of his throat. He had never washed a dish in his life - that was Raditz' job - and he did not wish to start now. Maybe if he dicked around long enough, Raditz would do the disgusting parts for him? He glanced over at the long-haired adolescent, but could not bear to beg. Vegeta grunted in annoyance and began to toss dishes into the sink, so at least it looked like he was doing something. You know, in case the shift boss looked in.

"Wait, Ve'ho! You have to scrape them first," Raditz admonished. "You can't just toss them in there like that!"

"Are you telling me what to do?" Vegeta felt his hackles rise.

"No! I mean, yes… But only to make this go quicker, not to be your boss. We have to work smart and fast, or the next shift's gonna come in. Then we'll be stuck here all day. I don't know about you, but I want to eat before nighttime. Dodoria's not gonna let us slide, and if we fuck this up, he'll just narc us out to Zarbon. Or beat the hell of of us. I'm not interested in either option."

"Fuck both Zarbon and Dodoria. They're just looking for any excuse to screw me over," Vegeta snarled. To that, Raditz did not reply. He just kept on washing.

Vegeta continued to glare at the growing piles, some now almost as tall as he was. Such work was completely beneath his station and an insult to his royal lineage, but the thought of incurring further punitive actions and the threat of no food were strong motivators.

With great misgivings, Vegeta snatched up a plate and slammed it against the trash bin with such force that the plexi shattered. He looked around to see if anyone had he looked over at Raditz. The older male had pulled his long locks out of the way, and wore a placid expression as he scrubbed with economical moves. He did not appear to be upset at all. It pissed Vegeta off even further.

"How the hell can you just suck it up like that, Raditz?"

Raditz blew a loose strand out of his face, and gave a small shrug. "Honestly, Vegeta? Years and years of practice."

Vegeta was not sure whether Raditz meant washing dishes or getting his ass kicked. Perhaps it was both. Sure, it was easy for Raditz to be chill about ass kickings. Hells, he was practically a professional at it. He probably enjoyed it, but Vegeta did not. Not one gods-damned bit.

"We're never going to get out of here," Vegeta whined, as if Raditz had not heard all of his earlier complaints. He was being ignored! To make himself feel better, Vegeta smashed another glass.

Then Raditz glanced in Vegeta's direction, that bland expression still on his face, but did not react. Instead, he looked away. He directed a powerful spray hose at a clean stack and washed the soap down the drain. "It gets easier the more you do it. Part of the trick is to distract yourself. Trust me, it works."

"This is a joke! We're warriors, not glorified busboys! I swear I'm going to get them back, Raditz. Even if I have to end up in the tank to do so. They can't make a fool out of the Prince of Saiyans!"

Raditz licked his lips, then spoke in level tones. He kept his eyes down and looked at his hands. "That's easy for you to say, Ve'ho. You don't pay the medical bills."

"So you're saying I should have just rolled over like a coward and let them beat me down?" Vegeta could not help the bitter edge that tinged his words.

The tall male took in a deep breath, held it, then released it. "That's not what I meant. I'm just saying that there are sometimes when you … we … should be more strategic about our fights. Like Nappa says - "

"And fuck Nappa too!" Vegeta snarled as his face turned red. He was glad that Raditz was not looking at him. "Where was he when I needed him?"

Another sigh. "As I was saying, pick your battles. Going up against the Ginyu Force and Dodoria isn't brave, it's suicidal. And you know that, too. In the grand scheme of things, this isn't a fight you can win by yourself."

"Pft. Says you, weakling."

"No, it's true. Sometimes you need to learn when to expend your energy, and when to let things go. Hell, when shit goes bad - I mean really bad - I try to let it roll off my back. Even laugh at it."

"Well you laugh at it all you want, Raditz. Me, I'm not going to bow down to anyone."

"Heu, Ve'ho. Not everything has to be taken so damned seriously. It might do you some good to learn to lighten up a bit. Even, maybe, have some fun." Raditz flicked some suds towards the little prince, who scowled.

"This is not fun! You can't possibly think it is!"

"No, not really, but it's all in your point of view. Anything can be a good time or a trip to Hell, it all depends on how you tackle it. But I guess..." Raditz made eye contact. A sly grin spread across his pointed face. "Maybe princes aren't allowed to have fun. Seeing that it's beneath their station and all."

Vegeta puffed up and lashed his tail, sure for a moment that Raditz was insulting him. Then he saw the smile on Raditz' face, and realized that Raditz was poking fun at him. Distracting him. "Of course I know how to have fun, you giant, hairy dolt!"

"I don't mean killing things, Vegeta, although that can be fun. I meant kicking back and have a good time with your getau, hanging out…"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. He knew what Raditz considered to be a good time. "You mean, go out and get trashed and laid, like you and Nappa do on downtime?"

Raditz raised an eyebrow at the bitter tone and opened his mouth, only to be overridden by the angry young Prince's rant.

"Well, in case you've forgotten, I can't do those things because the damned PTO regulations won't let me walk into any of the fucking bars on site because I'm NOT A LEGAL ADULT!" Vegeta snarled, in a mocking tone, then flicked his tail in an obscene and dismissive gesture.

"That's not what I meant." Raditz had heard this rant on many occasions. Honestly he agreed with Vegeta but neither could do much about it. Legally.

"What did you mean, then?"

"You know, just some light-hearted fun. A little tail-pulling, goofing off, that sort of thing."

"Goofing off?"

"Yeah." Raditz broke into a wide smile as his eyes looked into the past. "I'll give you an example. When I was in Training School on Vegetasai, we would pull pranks on each other all the time. Like, replacing someone's soap with hair oils so they ended up all slicked, sneaking out at night to spray paint fake gang signs on the barrack walls, throwing rotted fruit through the officer's windows, leading the guards on a chase through the bad sectors after sending in some working girls… you know .. stuff you do with your ji'tach."

No, I don't really know, but Vegeta would be damned if he let Raditz know that.

"Laaaame," the prince drawled, and ignored Raditz' annoyed huff. "You mean kit stuff, right? And how is painting a wall any fun?"

"Vegeta, not everything is life or death. Sometimes, it's good for us just to be playful, joke around, have a sense of humor."

Right.

"So. You're saying I don't know how to have fun, Raditz? Is that it?" Vegeta replied with his back toward Raditz so the older male could not see his smile.

"This again? Didn't you listen to a word I said?" Raditz flapped his arms in aggravation and sent soap suds flying. "Gods, just forget it."

"Heh. Calm your tits, Raditz. I'm just pulling your tail. Didn't expect that, did you?"

Raditz stared at Vegeta, then they both broke into awkward laughter. The really funny thing was that Raditz was right, distractions did help. He had forgotten to be miserable for a few moments.

The fact still remained that Raditz thought the prince was humorless, that he did not know how to 'have fun', and that bugged Vegeta.

If he wants a joke, by Blood and Battle, I'll give him a joke. That stupid long-haired asshat thinks I don't know how to joke around? I'll show him. I'll make him have fun until it kills him!

Let the games begin.


	2. Cleaning Up

**Author's Note: For those who don't know me, I answer reviews left on the previous chapter at the end of the current one.**

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Words and phrases used in this chapter:

Au ten jik'hi - You're a giant asshole

Getau - friends/allies

Ma'tapa - curse word

Ve'ho - prince

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It had not been a good day for Vegeta and Raditz. Even though the original punishment was for breakfast, Dodoria kept adding shifts until the Saiyans were stuck through closing. Vegeta was damned sure that the massive General did it just to spite him personally. They likely would have gotten out sooner if Vegeta had just kept his mouth shut and done the work, but the prince was never one to keep quiet. The argument ended when Dodoria threatened to permanently assign them to kitchen duty.

The only good thing, if one could say that, was they were finally able to scavenge some edible leftovers at the end of the day to tide them over. So Vegeta and Raditz left Mess Hall Five tired, dirty, and annoyed after spending all day in the back room on dish duty. Their armor was soiled, their boots caked with muck, and their hair bedraggled as if they had been through a washer themselves.

Other soldiers turned up their noses as they passed in the halls and whispered to each other about the 'dirty monkeys'. Raditz made sure to keep a hand on Vegeta's shoulder in hopes of keeping the younger Saiyan focused. The only reason that Vegeta decided not to nuke the weaklings was because he did not wish to incur Dodoria's wrath twice in one day. He seethed inside, however, and took the time to memorize the faces of every being who dared to insult him.

"You're all on my list," Vegeta hissed. "Every single one of you!"

It was a very long list. Every night, Vegeta placed the names of people who had pissed him off into his tablet. Sometimes he knew their names, and sometimes he did not. That did not stop him. Vegeta was a champion grudge holder.

The Saiyans had the elevator to themselves; everyone else decided to wait for the next car. That was fine, as it meant they made it to their flat with no altercations.

Nappa eyed them when they dragged in, angry and hungry. The towering Commander had sprawled out on the yellow couch in front of the screen with a drink in one hand. Both of his booted feet were propped up on the low table and several empty bottles of alcohol lay about; it probably meant that he was well on his way to being drunk. When he saw the state they were in, he just shook his balding head and clicked his tongue.

"Ginyus again, Vegeta?" As if Nappa didn't already know what had happened. "What was it this time?"

His temper rocketing to new height, Vegeta clenched his fists so tight that his nails dug into his palms.. He did not need shit from Nappa, too. "They jumped me. I had to fight back. And then Dodoria-"

"Why were ya in the mess hall alone, _ve'ho_?" Weren't you two boys supposed to stick together? I thought I told ya ta keep an eye on him, Raditz! And why," Nappa stopped to rub his at his reddened eyes with one hand. His breath reeked of booze and he slurred a bit when he spoke. "Why in the name of Blood and Battle did ya think startin' a food fight was a good idea?"

Raditz bristled at the implication that the encounter was somehow _his_ fault. "Thanks a lot, Nappa! I totally planned it that we'd run into the Ginyus. In fact, we're going to have lunch together tomorrow."

The words were out of his mouth before he could take them back, and Raditz regretted it. The oldest Saiyan was known to lash out when he had drank too much; and he only dared to take it out on Raditz because the maned adolescent was the weakest of the pack. Gods forbid that Nappa would ever say a cross word to the prince.

Nappa sat up straighter and glared dangerously. Raditz crossed his arms in a defensive position but did not step back out of range. Instead, he tried to school his features and control his reaction. _Show no fear..._

"Don't blame me," Raditz pushed. He was tired of being the scapegoat. "Some of their little cronies laid in wait for us when we got in line. So when _ve'ho_ stepped in the mess, they jumped me. Kept me down just long enough for the Asshole Force to grab Vegeta. We both went down fighting, but we didn't start flinging slop around. Hells, do you think we'd actually _waste_ food like that? We could have eaten for a month on what they threw around."

Nappa's face twisted, and he lumbered to his feet. He towered over both of the younger Saiyans, and weaved slightly. One bleary eye stared at Raditz as if he were deciding whether to jack the adolescent up a wall or not. He thought for a moment, a process slowed by drink, and then sighed.

"I guess that makes sense," the old warrior rumbled, then took another pull from his bottle.. "And how many times do I gotta tell you two ta keep an eye out?"

"You just did." Vegeta was the only one who could get away with mouthing off to the Commander. "Besides, I'm not a baby. I don't need to be coddled."

"Look, Nappa, I did my best. And unless you want me to be _stapled_ to Vegeta, it's impossible. Besides, you weren't there. You didn't see what happened."

In a rare moment of solidarity, Vegeta came to Raditz' defense. "They overwhelmed us with numbers, and they did it in public areas where we're not supposed to fight. It was self defense, no matter what Dodoria says. And I'm not interested in being _that_ close to Raditz."

Nappa exhaled through his nostrils and then chuckled. Crisis averted. "Okay, boys. Just stay outta their way for a while, okay? An'I know ya don't like ta pass on a fight, _ve'ho_ , but sometimes -"

"I know, I know." Vegeta interrupted. "I've got to pick my battles. You sound just like Raditz."

"Heh." Nappa smiled, and then punched Raditz in the upper arm. "Glad yer listening."

One week passed since the Mess Hall incident; Vegeta and Raditz stayed together, laid low, and made sure to stay out of Dodoria's way. They did not talk about what had happened by mutual agreement; Vegeta did not mention their discussion about his lack of humor either, but he did not forget what Raditz had said. In fact, it stayed at the forefront of his mind.

Vegeta was not known for his patience, but he took the challenge of 'having fun' very seriously. He was going to watch and wait, lure Raditz into a false sense of security, and then find the perfect time and place to yank Raditz's tail good. And because the prince was also so damned serious all of the time, it would come as a total surprise. Raditz would never see it coming.

The perfect opportunity presented itself after a routine workout. Vegeta sat on one of the benches in the locker room and waited on Raditz. Vegeta himself never used the PTO bathing facilities, too many bad experiences. He preferred the relative safety of their apartment. This meant that Raditz was forced to clean up on site and that Vegeta was forced to wait around, like a commoner, or risk the tram ride home solo. Normally he would have just gone on without Raditz but he was resolute to stay trouble free, at least for a while.

"Hurry up," he mentally urged the older Saiyan. "I haven't got all day."

Although … he did.

Arms folded, he tapped his foot so rapidly that the bench vibrated. Then his eyes drifted down to where Raditz had left his armor, boots, and undergarments because he knew Vegeta was there to keep an eye on them. A wide and wicked smile spread across Vegeta's face and his eyes twinkled. Then he started to chuckle and gathered up Raditz' clothing.

"Gah…." he gagged, and recoiled at the odor. When was the last time Raditz ran these damn things through a washer? Nasty long-haired bastard.

 _Oh yes, just … perfect! I'll show you some fun! I am Vegeta, Prince of Pranks!_ Laughing (like an evil monkey), the young Saiyan took to his feet and swiftly left the locker room, and Raditz, behind. This was _way_ better than putting graffiti on some old wall.

Five minutes into the tram ride back to the barracks, his scouter screeched and then erupted to life. "GODSDAMNIT, VEGETA! Where the fuck are my clothes, you little shit?"

Vegeta could not help it, he just started to roar with laughter. The other passengers side-eyed him and shifted away. Sometimes it was nice to have the reputation of being slightly unhinged; it meant people let you be..

"Maybe you should wash them more, Raditz. They were so dirty they just got up and walked away."

"I swear to all the Gods, Vegeta, that when I get my hands on you…"

"You'll do what? Tickle me with your attacks? Yell at me some more? You should be thankful I'm helping you out. You'll be fine, though, you can just wear your hair. It's long enough."

"You asshole," Raditz howled in indignation.

"Who says I don't know how to have fun?" Vegeta leaned back and put his hands behind his head, thoroughly enjoying himself.

"This isn't what I meant!"

"Well, You should have been more specific, Raditz."

Vegeta returned to the apartment and flopped down on the couch to wait for Raditz's return. He passed the time by watching off-planet sparring matches, mocking their sloppy techniques, and stuffing himself with savory handfuls of crisp rinds. He could not wait to see the look on Raditz's face.

Raditz stomped in an hour later, clad in a pair of black pants and new boots. His angular face was a mask of barely contained fury. His long hair was unbound and in need of a good combing; it gave him a feral appearance that would intimidate a lesser warrior than Vegeta. He said nothing to the prince, grabbed a beer out of the cold store, popped the seal with one fingernail and finished most of it in one long gulp.

"How was your workout?" Vegeta asked, unable to resist needling the older boy.

"Fuck you," Raditz growled, in a rare moment of just not giving a shit.

Usually, Vegeta would punch Raditz in the mouth for talking to him like that, but this time he gave it a pass. He stuffed another handful of snacks in his mouth and crunched away. Raditz grabbed his armor off the table, sat in one of the chairs as far away from Vegeta as he could be, then pulled on his chestplate in sullen silence. He did not look at the prince. His eyebrows were drawn so close together that it almost looked like a unibrow. Vegeta choked on his food a bit at that thought. Raditz ignored that, too. At the moment, he did not care if Vegeta choked to death.

" _Au ten jik'hi_ ," Raditz began, after an extended and awkward silence. "Thanks to you, I owe the Armory for new boots, and Zarbon wrote me up for 'indecent exposure'. "

Vegeta spit out the remainder of the crisps all over himself. "Bwahaha! Wrote you up? I would have thought 'Master' Zarbon would enjoy creeping on you."

Raditz' scowl deepened, but he did not seek to defend Zarbon this time. "This isn't funny, Vegeta! My pay for a week is gone!"

With a snort, Vegeta blinked and gave Raditz a wide-eyed innocent gaze. "But, I thought you _enjoyed_ pranks. You know: yanking each other's tails, goofing off, good old _getau_ stuff…"

"Sometimes, you take things too far." Raditz snarled. It was the understatement of the century.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Vegeta said. He refused to let Raditz ruin his good mood.

Raditz drank the rest of his beer in silence before he responded, his tone light: "You know... this means war, _ve'ho_."

"Bring it on, you spikey headed doofus. We'll see who can have the most fun."

A day passed.

Vegeta looked over his shoulder, determined not to let Raditz get the best of him. But, nothing happened. In fact, Raditz acted like nothing was going on, like their challenge had never been issued.

Two days passed, and then three.

Vegeta started to become irritated and jumpy, constantly on the edge as he waited for the inevitable payback. Unless Raditz had decided to wuss out. That was possible.

 _You damn pussy, what's the holdup? Can't you think of anything good, or are you just too afraid of me?_

On the fourth day of anxious waiting, they went to the gym for their daily work out. Too much time had passed, in Vegeta's opinion, and Raditz had still not gotten him back. So, Vegeta decided to force Raditz's hand. He made sure to leave his items with Raditz and made sure to dawdle around. Yet when he emerged from the sparring room, he saw that both Raditz and his things were there, waiting for him.

" _Eh, ve'ho_ ," Raditz greeted him with a wave and a friendly smile. "Do you want to stop by the Noodle Hut before I go to assist Master Zarbon?"

 _What the hell is he waiting for?_

"No … we don't have the money. Nappa would kill us."

"Suit yourself." Raditz shrugged, then stood up and stretched. With a wave of his tail, he left. He did not even look back.

Vegeta felt one of his eyes start to twitch. _Well played, Raditz. Well played ...I would have gone for it._

Even though Nappa would have bitched if he found out, Vegeta returned home by himself to relax and take a private shower. To be honest, he needed a little time away from Raditz and the constant strain of wondering when the other would act. By now, the royal was jumping at shadows.

The flat was quiet and dark. It was nice, sometimes, to have some space without a hairy minder or Nappa up his butt. He stripped off his armor, ate one of the lunches Raditz had prepared, then wandered into the bathroom to clean up. He stepped into the stall and turned the water on full force. Vegeta closed his eyes and just let it run down his body for a minute, luxuriating in the warmth. He hummed under his breath as he lathered up. Yes, so very nice to have the place to himself.

Then, without warning, the water turned ice cold. It felt like a horde of stinging insects attacked him. Vegeta could not help but let out a high pitched yelp in surprise and jump back out of the frigid spray. He glared up at the nozzle, affronted. What the hell, he was not done with his shower! He waited a few chilling seconds to see if the hot water would kick back in. No such luck; he either could rinse off in the arctic stream, or spend the rest of the day itching.

Vegeta steeled himself, stepped back under the brittle spray, and began to scrub again as fast as he could. His teeth started to chatter uncontrollably. At least he could heat up his body with Ki once he was clean.

Vegeta did not have to worry about it for long; a few seconds later, the water cut out entirely.

"What the … " Vegeta stood there, dumbfounded. He reached up, jimmied the nozzle, to no avail. They had not used up their weekly water allotment. They _couldn't_ have.

He wrapped a towel around his small frame, surrounded himself in Ki to dry off and warm up, and stomped out of the bathroom. His face was twisted into a , he was going to have words with Raditz about this. Hot water was a _necessity_ , not a suggestion!

"That fucking Raditz," he muttered. Then stopped when he noticed he was no longer alone.

Raditz sat at the kitchen table, his feet up and a wicked grin upon his face. Waiting for him. "How was your shower, _ve'ho_?"

"I'm going to _kill_ you," Vegeta raged. "Where the hell is my water?"

"Oh … right." Raditz rubbed at his chin, as if deep in thought. "Sorry about that, Vegeta. I forgot to mention it to you earlier, but I couldn't afford to pay the bill this week. You know, because I needed to pay my fines. You can always go back to the gym and finish your shower there, but you'd better watch your things. I hear they can just walk away."

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 **A/N: Yes, it's been a while since I've published. Bad author! I hope that you'll enjoy this short story. Let me know what you think, whether positive or negative. Your feedback helps me improve!**

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 **Nancy103: Glad to see you're still along for the ride! Thanks for dropping me a review, and glad you enjoyed Chp1.**

 **Pie555: And teenage hijinks commence! Thanks for commenting, and hope you'll like the rest of the story.**


	3. Fine Dining

**Thanks to my excellent beta TheAsh0 and to MegaKat for giving me permission to use her Saiyan language**

Words and phrases used in this chapter:

 _Heu m'yo - my gods_

 _Hi'nah - shut up!_

 _jik'hiu - assholes_

 _ji'tach - Saiyan fighting team, family unit_

 _Th'di - a noodle dish made by Raditz with varying ingredients_

 _Ve'ho - prince_

Vegeta spent the rest of the day actively ignoring Raditz. He refused to make a trip to the public baths to get the rest of the soap off of his skin. To do so would mean admitting that Raditz had gotten the best of him and won this round. Vegeta would rather die than let Raditz think he had the upper hand in their ongoing battle of wits.

He wandered into the kitchenette and began to rummage through the pantry, in search of a suitable pre-dinner snack to distract himself from the horrid itching. It felt like thousands of needles were being jabbed into his skin, but he would not complain. No, he would not give Raditz that satisfaction. The image of that long-haired buffoon grinning from ear to ear was more than enough to keep from scratching himself raw.

As usual, the choices were quite lacking. The cold store was almost bare and all the good snacks had been eaten already. In hopes that Raditz had hidden something, he floated to the top shelf. It was yet another blow to his pride that he was so damned short.

The top of the pantry yielded the same results as the rest of the kitchen:nothing, outside of a few packages of nasty dried protein cubes that even rats would not touch and one sad package of noodles with a layer of dust so think Vegeta could write his name in it. Damn, didn't Raditz ever clean?

Then he spotted the jars of dried spices that Raditz used, filled with savory herbs and sweet leaves and peppers so hot that they would burn the roof of your mouth off. Hmmm… And then, an idea began to form in his devious mind. One of his eyebrows raised, the corners of his mouth turned up slightly and then spread into a wicked grin. He glanced back over his shoulder at Raditz. The older youth had sunk into the old sagging couch and seemed to be staring at the screen, paying the prince no attention.

 _Heh, It's a good thing I usually wear gloves._ Vegeta stealthily opened the jar of dried peppers, selected one by its stem, then crushed it between both clothed palms. The skin on a Saiyan's palms were like leather, but why take the chance? The pungent odor bit into his nostrils and for a second his eyes began to sting. It crumbled into a fine powder which he poured into a bag and then secreted on his person. One generous pinch was enough to add heat to an entire pot of food and more than enough for his purposes.

Vegeta took one of his supplement drinks from the cold store, selected a dried protein bar and sat at the table to figure out his next move.

 _Put it in his shampoo? Nah, too easy. Besides, he'd be looking for something like that. In his ale? He'd smell it a mile away. Seed his undergarments with it? That was a hilarious possibility, but how often did he change them?_ No, it had to be something that Raditz would not even suspect, something that he was sure to interact with, like say … his tablet which conveniently lay on the table.

 _You'll be sorry that you didn't pay the water bill now, Raditz. Really sorry._

With another covert glance in Raditz' direction, Vegeta poured the powder onto the palms of his gloves, lightly rubbed them together, and then picked up the datapad to give it a liberal coating. Vegeta tucked the packet back into his waistband, made sure to put the tablet back in the exact same location, then removed his gloves. He finished off his snack, then wandered into their sleeping section and casually tossed the gloves into the laundry bin. He did not wish to become a victim of his own prank.

Usually Raditz was glued to his datapad, always talking to Nappa or Zarbon. More so Zarbon, since Raditz worked for the fallen prince almost as much as he participated in purge missions - much to the chagrin of Nappa. But this evening, it almost seemed like he was avoiding it just to deny Vegeta his sweet revenge.

After a short debate, the Saiyans decided to take a pass on the mess hall; instead Raditz cooked up a big pan of _th'di_ \- his specialty dish made with noodles, reconstituted vegetables, savory broth, and a special mix of herbs that included the peppers. When Raditz opened the jar to take out a few, Vegeta worried that the older Saiyan would immediately notice one was missing. When he did not mention it, Vegeta had to cover his mouth to hide his smile.

After the meal was finished and the dishes cleared, the three kicked back in front of the screen for the evening. Normally on a rest day Nappa and sometimes Raditz would go out on the town to carouse, get drunk, and find willing company while Vegeta remained behind. Not that he really wanted to participate. But since no one had any credits, they were all stuck at home to make the best of it. The two older men drank and laughed, and Vegeta sat with his knees pulled up to his chest - a position that he found comforting - and waited.

It was difficult not to keep glancing at Raditz' tablet, or at Raditz himself. The maned Saiyan was usually observant to the smallest changes in behavior, and Vegeta did not want to tip him off. As the night progressed, Vegeta became more and more agitated; it felt like his body was buzzing with electricity and it made it hard for him to remain in one place while the others roared and drank. They did not even offer him a beer. Selfish bastards. But that was fine, he did not like alcohol anyways. It tasted like shit and only made them act like bigger morons.

 _Tch. How long am I going to have to wait? Pick the damn tablet up! Don't make me get it for you!_ Vegeta stared at the back of Raditz' head, willing him to act, to no avail, and to the prince's growing annoyance.

Finally, after several hours and a copious amount of cheap ale that even the rank and file could afford, Raditz stood up and grabbed his tablet andthen headed off to the bathroom. _About damn time!_ _This'll teach Raditz to mess with me._ Vegeta kept his eyes fixed on the screen and bit his lip so hard that he drew blood. He started to mentally count the seconds until ….

"Augggghhhhh!" Raditz's sudden agonised wail reverberated through their entire thin-walled quarters. Nappa snapped to attention at the noise, and Vegeta had to fight not to burst into laughter. He settled for a low snicker of amusement and kicked up his feet on the table, a satisfied grin on his face. _Gotcha…._

Nappa tried to stand and had to steady himself with one hand, then wove a crooked line towards the bathroom to check on Raditz, tripping over empties as he went. When he opened the door, he found Raditz collapsed on the floor in obvious pain, doubled over and twitching. The youth's face had twisted up and turned an unnatural shade of scarlet. Tears streamed down his cheeks and snot ran from his nose. HIs eyes had started to puff up as well, sealing shut from the reaction. He clutched his groin with both hands and curled up into a fetal position, moaning like a dying animal.

"The hell's goin' on," Nappa slurred.

"My _junk_! It feels like it's on fire!" The adolescent moaned, his voice had gone up an octave.

"Bwaahahahahaa!" As Raditz continued to howl in the other room, an almost desperate sound of agony, Vegeta could not help it. He clutched his stomach, doubled over and almost toppled out of his chair.

Even tipsy, Nappa could take a guess at who to blame. He turned around in the doorway, almost fell over his own feet, and then pointed an accusatory finger in the prince's direction. "What did you do, Vegeta?"

"Put… dried peppers … on his tablet," Vegeta managed to gasp out between gales of laughter.

Nappa did not … could not .. respond for a few seconds. His mouth hung open and his jaw worked, but no words came out. Finally he managed to splutter: "What in the name of Blood and Battle is wrong with you? That's not funny, _ve'ho_!"

"You're right, Nappa." In response to the raw fury Nappa projected, Vegeta pulled a sad face. He hung his head low in mock shame and even tried to look remorseful, but could not manage to keep the facade up for long. He was never good at being sorry, and Nappa wasn't buying it anyways. "It's not funny. It's fucking _hilarious_!."

Nappa snarled, turned his back on the prince in disgust, then squatted down next to Raditz. The big Saiyan looked Raditz over with a sympathetic eye, then helped the youth crawl to his knees. "Ahh… c'mon, Raditz. We gotta get ya cleaned up. You're starting to look like Jeice."

"No water, remember?" Raditz hissed from between clenched teeth. "Besides - water won't help with capsaicin! Rubbing alcohol … or cooking oil… can't see... "

"Hmmm. Yeah - we'll talk about _that_ later." Nappa sighed and rubbed one hand over his face. His buzz was gone, and he was stone cold sober. No amount of rubbing alcohol could help fix this! "Ya look like shit, boy. I think ya need ta go to Medical."

"No!" Raditz shouted, his voice weak. The thought of Doctor Berra the kindly base doctor seeing him like this mortified him. "I'll be fine. Besides … We can't afford it."

He obviously was _not_ fine. Even Vegeta could see that.

"You're going. That's an order. And you, _ve'ho_ , put yer boots on and get your tail in gear." Before the prince could gripe, Nappa cut him off. Clearly, Nappa was not putting up with any more of his shit.

While Vegeta dressed, Nappa had to pull the younger Saiyan up to his feet . Once Raditz was standing, Nappa wrapped an arm around his waist to support the older boy. By now, Raditz' eyes had swelled completely shut and he was blind. He kept his hands cupped around his groin and hissed in pain at every movement. Together they began to make their way towards the door; Nappa supported almost all of Raditz's weight. Raditz's head hung low, his long hair obscured his face.

"You're a dick, Vegeta," Raditz managed to gasp.

"You had it coming," Vegeta replied. After the words came out of his mouth he felt a slight twinge of guilt, but quickly forced it down. He did not want to look weak by admitting he had messed up, or that he regretted his actions.

"That's it," Nappa roared, beyond done. "I don't know what's goin' on between you two idiots, but when it costs us credits we don't have, that's when it's gonna stop! After we're done at Medical, we're all havin' a talk about team cohesion."

 _Heu m'yo, not that_... _anything but another long winded lecture!_ Vegeta scowled as he yanked his boots on, good mood dashed.

"Move it, Vegeta! This isn't a game!" The Commander's face was dark, and he looked so damn pissed that for a second Vegeta worried that the hulking warrior might actually hit him.

"Fine." For once, Vegeta did not have a snappy response.

Nappa gave Vegeta the eye the entire time they waited in Medical. In response, Vegeta folded his arms across his chest and pretended not to notice. Two hours and two hundred credits worth of added debt later, Raditz emerged from the good doctor's office. His face was the color of blood, red not just from the allergic reaction he had suffered. He had developed a nervous stutter and refused to make eye contact with anyone, but at least he could open his eyes a little.

"Well, what's the damage?" Nappa said.

"Erm …" Raditz coughed, then cleared his throat. "Berra, er, I mean Doctor Berra, said it's a severe case of contact dermatits - I mean _dermatitis_ \- made worse by exposure to - " _cough_ "- _sensitive_ skin. She gave me a shot in the ass and some pills for the next few weeks."

"Hah - tits!" Nappa guffawed and slapped his palms on his thighs, amused by Raditz' slip up. Vegeta joined in the laughter, to Raditz' further embarrassment.

."You're not helping, Nappa!" Raditz hissed through puffy lips.

Then Nappa remembered he was still pissed off at Vegeta. He wiped the goofy smile off his mustached face and cleared his throat. "Ahem...right, let's get outta here."

"Ooooooooo …. _Berra_ ," Vegeta drawled, then made googly eyes at Raditz behind Nappa's back. Everyone knew that Raditz had a long unrequited crush on the diminutive physician, and Vegeta never missed a chance to poke fun at him over it. "Hey, just look at it this way: at least you had an excuse to see her. Bet it was fun having her look at the …ahem … affected area. You're welcome for that."

"Oh, _hi'nah_ , both of you" Raditz snarled, and flushed a brighter shade of crimson. "And I didn't need your 'help', _ve'ho_!"

"Could have fooled me," Vegeta said with a satisfied grin. Raditz just ignored him and mumbled under his breath.

Once back in their studio apartment in the Residential dome, Raditz settled on the mustard yellow couch with an icepack on his groin. The swelling in his face and hands had receded; he had been shot up with an industrial strength cocktail of antihistamines, progesterone, and a relaxer. He could have been hit with a planet and not felt it.

Vegeta placed a glass of cold water on the table within Raditz' reach, then perched on one of the old beaten chairs near him. Normally, the prince would not serve Raditz - or anyone else for that matter - but the guilt, or Nappa's long winded rant about _ji'tach_ , or both - got to him and he felt the need to rectify the situation.

"Thanks, Vegeta." Raditz smiled, still a bit drowsy from all the drugs.

"Don't get used to it, this is a one time deal." Vegeta warned, then stared down at his hands and thought for a minute. It was supposed to be just a harmless little prank, just a little bit of fun and it had spiraled horribly out of control. Maybe, just maybe, he had gone too far? Maybe it was time to call a truce and put the game to rest. "Hey, um, it wasn't supposed to happen like that. It was supposed to be a joke… I didn't think you'd end up in Medical looking like a puffer."

Raditz stared at the prince. Wait, was that an _apology_? He coughed, then shifted to get more comfortable. He was not sure if he was feeling uncomfortable physically, or because Vegeta had actually expressed some sort of responsibility for his actions.

"Why would you think that was a good idea, Vegeta? I mean, there were easier and less painful ways to get me back." That was the problem with Vegeta, in Raditz' opinion. The prince just did not _think_ about things; he just acted and then apologized later, and others paid the price.

Vegeta huffed and crossed his arms. Here he was, trying to show some level of concern - which he did not have to do - and Raditz was getting all uppity about it. To think he was actually considering calling a truce, but now … screw that! The Prince of Saiyans never gave up, never gave in. "Hn...Can't take the heat, can you? Next time, get your own water."

"What the hell is wrong with you boys?" Nappa sat in the other chair, a beer in each hand, and butted into their conversation. "I thought I told you two to knock it off! If I hear one more word about this outta you two, I'm gonna knock your skulls together until some sense falls in."

"Tch." Vegeta rolled his eyes towards his guardian and sighed dramatically. "You take all the fun out of it."

"I mean it, _ve'ho_."

Vegeta did not bother to justify that with a response. Instead, he kicked off his boots, planted his feet on the table, and stared at the screen. The three sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while; Nappa drank, Vegeta ignored him, and Raditz was too wasted to do much. After a while, Nappa wandered off to the bathroom to recycle all of the alcohol he had borrowed.

Once out of earshot, Vegeta leaned towards Raditz and whispered: "Don't even think I'm giving up now."

Raditz did not reply at first, he just stared at Vegeta, his expression unreadable."Well, just remember this, Vegeta. Payback is a bitch."

"Glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor," Vegeta snickered. "You're going to need it. "

 **Let the games continue...**

 **Pie555: Glad you're enjoying their horrible torture XD Things can and will only get worse for the Saiyans**

 **Nancy103: I don't think Raditz would find it cute! Yes, I agree. It's a well thought out language.**

 **RedOak: Thanks for reading, and glad you're enjoying it! I've been laughing while writing most of it. Hope you liked the new chapter!**


	4. Keeping House

Mad appreciation to awesome beta readers TheAsh0 and Firestorm1991 and to Megakat for use of her Saiyan language

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Words and phrases used in this chapter:

ge'tahu- friends/allies

Heu m'yo - my gods

jik'hiu - assholes

ji'tach - Saiyan fighting team, family unit

ve'ho - prince

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The next day after the pepper incident, the Saiyans received their notification for the upcoming mandatory inspection of living quarters, and as usual Nappa glowered and griped about it to such an extent that Vegeta stuffed his ears to block out the noise. Barrack inspections were conducted once a year and they were universally considered to be an excuse for higher ranking officers to harass their lessers, rifle through their stuff, and invent new reasons for punishments and fees. Soldiers' personal items often went 'mysteriously' missing, so anyone with half a brain hid items they did not want to lose. At least it was not a surprise visit; so the three Saiyans had enough notice to make sure the place was clean, to ensure that the alcohol was gone, and the food stores locked up tight.

Raditz volunteered to stay behind and clean their apartment up to standards, as he usually did when the inspectors made their rounds. While Raditz house-sat, Vegeta and Nappa made a grudging trek to Zarbon's office to beg for extra work, hoping to make up for the previous weeks' additional prank-related expenses.

"What's up with you and Raditz lately?" The rumble of the tram created a background hum that lulled Vegeta into a false sense of relaxation so Nappa's question caught him off guard.

"What?" Vegeta blinked a few times to clear the cobwebs from his mind, then stared up at his massive guardian. "Don't know what you mean, Nappa."

"Ah _heu m'yo_!" Nappa scrubbed at his face with his hands and rumbled in irritation. "We gonna do it like this? I'm talkin' about this 'prank' nonsense. And don't act like ya don't know what I'm talkin' about."

"Oh … that?" Vegeta plastered a disarming grin on his face and cocked his head to the side, as if it were not even worth his time to answer. "Tch, it's nothing! We're just having a bit of fun."

Nappa did not smile in return. His lips pressed into a thin line. "Yeah … well, _ve'ho_ , there's a real big difference between doin' harmless jokes to each other and doin' something that ends up costin' us credits. Lots of 'em."

Vegeta inhaled, then clicked his tongue against the back of his teeth. "Uh ...so… let me see if I understand this. You don't care if someone gets hurt … just if it's expensive?"

Nappa growled low at his young charge and grabbed his head with both hands, tugged at his mohawk. "Auuugghhhh… Vegeta! As usual, ya totally missed the point!"

"What _is_ the point, Nappa?" Vegeta gave his guardian a sly look. He so enjoyed needling the older Saiyan.

"The _point_ is.. and I can't believe I hafta break it down for ya like this … ya don't seem to know when to let something go!" Nappa's eyebrows knit together in that special look he got when frustrated.

"Seriously? It's not a big deal, like Raditz said," Vegeta growled. Why the hell couldn't Nappa just shut the hell up about it?

"Raditz didn't seem to be havin' fun in medical, Vegeta. Why keep it up when no one seems to be havin' any fun?"

"Fine," the prince huffed. Clearly, Nappa was not going to let it go. Stupid Nappa… "You want to know why? Because he thinks I've got a stick up my ass, that I don't know how to relax, to 'have fun'. I _know_ how to have fun. Raditz is just mad because I one-upped him and he's got nothing in return!"

The sigh Nappa emitted sounded like a kettle ready to boil over. "All of this nonsense because Raditz poked fun at you? _Heu_ , ya need ta grow a tougher skin, _ve'ho_."

That set off Vegeta's volatile temper and he became furious in a split second. He hissed up at Nappa, all hints of playfulness or good humor vanished. A flash of heat radiated from his body like a whip snap. "Don't you tell me what to do, Nappa. You're always saying that I need to lighten up and when I do, you're bitching at me. Make up your damn mind!"

Nappa never knew what would trigger the boy from one day to another, it was like a deadly version of craps. However, Vegeta's anger was like a flash of lightning - bright and sometimes deadly, but usually short lived. Usually.

Back in the day on Vegetasai, if a cadet had dared to mouth off like that he would have found himself in the infirmary with a broken jaw. Sadly, Nappa could not discipline Vegeta like that … though the gods knew he often wanted to. The last prince needed a good dose of humility, but Nappa did not want to drive the boy further away. And … he'd sworn an oath on his tail to the king that he would guard and guide Vegeta.

The two did not speak for the rest of the journey to the Main Office, or on their way back. Vegeta gave the older Saiyan the silent treatment. The prince was a champion grudge holder, usually over the stupidest things.

As they rode up the lift to their apartment, Vegeta fretted about what they might find, or _not_ find. Would their furniture be smashed and a write-up issued for 'slovenliness'? It had happened before. Would their cupboards be pillaged, their few possessions looted?

However, nothing seemed out of place when they first walked in. Raditz sat on the couch, which was still in one piece. The place looked positively spotless. All the dishes had been washed and put away, the tables cleared of clutter, the floors shone. Hell, it almost looked _too_ clean.

" _Eh_ ," Raditz nodded in their direction, and got to his feet. "We lucked out this time; it wasn't any of the Elites conducting the inspection. Those _ge'tahu_ were more interested in getting it over and done with than fucking around with us. I guess they didn't want to be in here for too long. You know, they didn't want to catch anything communicable from the monkeys. Heh. I guess it's good to have a bad rep sometimes, right?"

Vegeta ignored the long-haired adolescent and marched back to their sleeping space. He wanted to see for himself that nothing had been touched, although Raditz had told him so. He leaned down, his face scrunched up in dread, and then sniffed at the lower mattress on the bunk bed that he and Raditz 'shared'. Hn. No one had pissed on their bed or messed with it; his scent was still strong. Good. Next, he checked his dresser drawer. Everything was still where he had left it, folded neatly. Even better.

Next, he lifted the top mattress from its springs and peered underneath. No one dared to sleep on it because it was _his_ , and it was also where he kept his secreted trinkets - trophies collected over the years that both Nappa and Raditz pretended not to know about. For the last few months, Vegeta had been considering paring down his collection, because it was a leftover habit from when he was a young kit. He did not want anyone thinking he was a baby. _Heu_ , he would almost be considered an adult among his people … if they had still existed. Perhaps it was time for him to rid himself of any tendrils linking to his younger years.

The collection was a 'babyish habit' until Vegeta noticed that all of his hard won and carefully kept things were gone. In fact, they were the _only_ things that had gone missing during the inspection.

Vegeta's breath hitched in his throat. He placed the mattress back, waited a few seconds and then checked again, in case they had just been moved about during the inspection...or magically decided to reappear. No such luck. He made a strangled noise, then bit into his lip. Someone was fucking with him! And that someone was going to get their head bashed in. How dare they touch his personal, private _things_ with their grubby hands? He rushed out of the sleeping nook with his tail frizzed and lashing a wide path. Vegeta practically vibrated with pure outrage, and stomped up to Raditz with his fists in tight balls.

"Raditz! You liar! I thought you said they didn't _take_ anything!" His obsidian eyes bored into the older youth.

"Something's gone? Are you sure? What can't you find?" Raditz wore an innocent look of confusion.

"My … um … personal things!" A slight tinge colored Vegeta's cheeks. He felt embarrassed. Then, he just felt violated. "Some fucknut TOUCHED MY THINGS! I thought you said you were watching the entire time! Did you have your head up your ass?"

"Your things?" Raditz put one hand to the back of his neck, glanced at the ceiling and thought while Vegeta bristled. "Ohhhhh. Do you mean your stash under the top mattress? Yeah, about that... Y'see, I was cleaning up the mess around here before the inspection and I decided to toss out the junk just laying around."

"You _what_?! You don't have the right!" Vegeta's face had gone completely crimson.

Before either Nappa or Raditz could react, Vegeta flew threw the air straight at Raditz and smashed into the older boy's abdomen. The air whooshed out of Raditz' lungs; he was knocked off his feet and collided with the couch, which tipped over. Raditz landed on his back with Vegeta on top, eyes burning and hands curled into fists. He got in a few brutal hits that shattered Raditz' nose and bloodied his face before the other teen had time enough to raise his arms in defense.

"Woah, woah!" Nappa moved in fast for such a bulky man. He wrapped his arms around Vegeta's waist and scooped the prince up and off his feet from behind so that he could not beat Raditz into a pulp. "That's enough, Vegeta! After last night, ya had this comin'. Now stand down!"

"Let me go, you big buffoon!" Vegeta squalled. He kicked and struggled like an angry beast, arms and legs flailing, and it took all of Nappa's formidable strength to keep the prince from breaking free.

"Not until you calm the fuck down, _ve'ho_!"

Raditz rolled to one side, his hands clamped over his nose. Crimson streams ran from between his fingers and down his chin. "Gah… Vegeta, it was just a prank! Nothing's gone, it's all in my drawer. Swear on my tail!" He gagged and spat out clots of blood. "Hah…it was worth it, though. I owed you for the peppers."

Vegeta tried to take another swing but Nappa just held onto him tighter. Usually when Saiyans had a problem with each other, they would get into a good old row, kick the shit out of each other, and blow off steam. There was nothing like a good fight to sort things out… but this wasn't one of those times. No, if left to his own devices now, Vegeta would likely kill Raditz. The blank look on the prince's face worried the Commander more than he'd like to admit.

"Enough!" Nappa roared. "I thought I told you two ta knock this shit off! Don't make me crack yer damn skulls!" The veins on his neck stood out, and he pushed his Ki out in a quick pulse like a slap to the face. It was enough to get Vegeta's attention for a second and snap him out of the bloodlust.

For a few anxious seconds, no one spoke. Then Vegeta released the air from his lungs in one big puff and relaxed in Nappa's arms.

"You can let me go now, Nappa." Vegeta spoke in a quiet tone. "That's an order."

"Heh." That little shit, pulling rank... " Can I trust ya enough to let ya go, _ve'ho_?"

"Yes," Vegeta snapped, his anger mostly vented - on Raditz.

"I'm trustin' you. Don't make me regret it." The massive Commander released his charge, and the prince yanked his arm away from Nappa in a last act of pique.

While Nappa struggled with the prince, Raditz pulled himself into a sitting position and applied pressure to his broken nose. "I'm fine, _ge'tau_ ," he muttered from between his bloodied hands. "Thanks for asking."

The air was still heavy with the scent of hostility and blood, and Nappa finally reached the end of his patience. Rising to his full height, he loomed over the boys, jabbed one gnarled finger in their direction and took a deep breath.

 _Heu m'yo,_ Vegeta thought _, here comes the lecture. Now he's gonna bore us to death as punishment._

"You two are _ji'tach_. We're the last three Saiyans left, and we hafta stick together. Ya shouldn't be trying to kill each other, yer supposed ta be a team! There's enough _ji'khiu_ out there tryin' to end us, we don't need to make it easier for 'em!"

Good old predictable Nappa. Vegeta could pretty much quote the lecture word for word, he had heard it that many times. They _both_ had heard the 'we're family' speech too many times.

It was Nappa's go-to speech when either he or Raditz had acted up. He huffed and side-eyed Raditz, then both rolled their eyes in unison - united by annoyance, their fight forgotten.

"I get it, Nappa, you can stop lecturing us."

"Do you, Vegeta? You two boys are yer own worst enemies. Now, the pranks stop _here._ Right now. Get it?" When neither youth replied, the commander cupped one ear and leaned towards them. "Well? I'm not just talkin' to hear my voice."

In unison, Vegeta and Raditz groaned in protest. "Yes, sir…"

"Good. Why don't you two do something that _doesn't_ involve trying to kill each other?"

"Yes, Nappa. We promise." Vegeta held up one hand as if taking an oath. Although .. he was not ready to give up the game yet. Perhaps he would just have to become more sneaky, or more subtle. One thing was for sure, Nappa was not going to ruin his fun...

"Okay, good. Raditz, go sit at the table and let me take a look at ya," Nappa ordered. He had lost count of the number of broken bones he had reset for the boys over the years.

Raditz hissed in pain while Nappa examined his wounds with an experienced eye. As expected, Raditz' nose had been broken but luckily had not been shattered.. Both his eyes had blackened, the inside of his mouth was a bloody mess, and dark bruises were already raising up. Saiyans were used to such routine injuries, it was part of their daily lives. Nappa quickly reset the bone and taped the bridge without further comment on the cause. While the Commander played nurse, Vegeta wandered away and dug through the drawers until he found his items. He collected them into his arms with a furtive glance at the two older Saiyans, then drew closed the privacy curtain so that he could hide them again.

For a moment, he stared at odd assortment of items in his hands: small bones and coins, pieces of old tech from various purges, small idols from dead worlds, and his most precious keepsake: a silver ornamental chain that Father had given to him… before Frieza took him away. Vegeta ran one thumb over the links of the necklace, and felt the smooth metal like he had done so many times before. They were the only tokens left of his childhood, something that could be used against him as Raditz had just demonstrated. He should just get rid of them; at least he could collect better trophies. Right?

Vegeta held out one hand, filled with his past, over the waste bin. _If anyone else besides Raditz finds these things, you'll be a laughingstock. Just do it. Just open your fingers and throw them in there. Don't be a pussy._

But he could not seem to let go. "I'm such a fool," he sighed, then placed his past carefully into the drawer.

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 **A/N: It's all fun and games until someone puts an eye out …. Thanks for reading and reviewing, and let me know what you think.**

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Nancy103: And the good times continue. Or not, depending on who you are. Thanks for continuing to review. Enjoy chapter four!

Vagus: Though I spoke to you in PM, I still want to say thanks for reviewing and I hope you'll continue to enjoy:


	5. Boys Will Be Boys

Credit where credit is due:

The Saiyan language I use belongs to MegaKat

Words used in this chapter:

Chale - Saiyan Goddess of Luck and Fate

Fri'va - coward

Ji'tach - a Saiyan fighting team

Tapa - general swear word

Ve'ho - prince

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The next days were quiet for the Saiyans, abnormally so. Raditz' expensive trip to Medical seemed to have put a damper on their 'fun' for a while, but also kept them grounded on HomeBase while he recovered on his own from the 'Pepper Incident' and the fight with Vegeta. Sure, a dip in the Medical Tank would have taken care of it in a half hour, but because neither event was a work-related injury, the Saiyans could not afford it. So they were down a team member and in the hole.

Almost as if the other Purge teams had been informed - and they probably had, knowing Zarbon - they jumped at the chance to bid on jobs while the Saiyans were down a man. Within a few hours of Raditz leaving Medical, all of the best paying missions had been snatched out from under their noses, leaving them without work. There were always other missions that required more finesse that Zarbon blocked them from, because it was common knowledge that 'brutish' Saiyans were incapable of performing them. Granted, a troop of giant raging monkeys was not easily restrained from wholesale destruction, but that wasn't the point.

So here they were, reduced to drudge work...again…until a new bidding window opened up, a slap in the face to Vegeta and his crew. They were assigned to repair and repaint the walls of the Housing Dome after the yearly inspection report, a task usually performed by the maintenance crew. Every few hours, someone came by to 'supervise' their work. It was usually Dodoria who drew the short end of the stick. Whenever the rotund magenta creature showed up, he complained loudly for all to hear that he had better things to do with his time. As if the Saiyans did not already know.

The common quarters were painted either a neutral tan or a mind-numbing steel grey, depending on the floor, colors that did nothing to boost morale. The Elite floors at the top of the Dome were decorated with a wider palette. As they worked, they needed to keep an eye on their supplies so that they did not develop feet and walked away either - though who would want tubs of nasty tan paint? Vegeta found it ironic that he and his _ji'tach_ were not trusted enough to go out on collection and recovery missions because they might destroy some delicate ecosystem, yet they were given drums of paint, application wands, and told to spruce up the place. It did not make sense to the prince, outside of just being an excuse to make his life miserable. Ah, bureaucracy at its finest.

Today's scintillating task was to apply a fresh coat of paint to the top three floors of the Dome. That included the Elite quarters, where Zarbon and Dodoria dwelled, a series of posh suites connected by a series of well-lit halls and polished floors. The doors were made of metal that needed to be cleaned and buffed as well. At least they did not have to wash the windows.

Vegeta and Raditz had been working nonstop since breakfast in the Mess Hall - always a fun event. The adolescent Saiyans had been spackling and patching, painting and polishing for hours now. Their hair and armor were covered in splatters and streaks of different colors. Once they had started on the top floors, Dodoria came by more frequently just 'to make sure they stayed on task.' In reality, it was an excuse for the General to harass them and constantly remind them of their place in the pecking order.

It was humiliating to reduce the proud Saiyan warriors to mere maintenance workers, and of course it was a terrible and most personal insult to Vegeta's pride. He just knew that Zarbon had given them this assignment to insult him further. There were plenty of other tasks that would be better suited for their skills. Hell, he almost would have rather washed dishes again. Then he could have eaten the leftovers as compensation.

The problem with all that mindless work was it gave Vegeta time to think. It also meant that Vegeta got bored, and that was a recipe for disaster. Bored, teenaged Saiyans were often argumentative, combative, and destructive unless their energy was properly channelled. Painting walls just did not cut it.

During the two days the adolescents had worked, both together and separately, Vegeta had _plenty_ of time to think. Because there was little he could do about the sad state of his life in general, he kept ruminating about the contest. It had started out as a challenge that had turned personal, and had taken a bad turn. Even Vegeta had to admit that it got out of control, not to mention given Nappa a wicked case of laryngitis from screaming at them.

A reasonable man would have conceded the fight, realized that continuing on was not in the best interest of Vegeta and his _ji'tach_. The next prank, if done wrong, might bring ruin to them all, and even Vegeta was not _that_ suicidal.

Yet, Vegeta could not let things go. He hated to lose, and somehow Raditz having the final strike seemed like losing big time. He should let it go, prove that he had a sense of humor after all, that it was all in good fun… even though Raditz had _so_ crossed the line by touching his personal things like that. But he did not want to give up, did not want their battle to end with Raditz having one-upped him in such a dramatic manner, and let Raditz have the last laugh. No, he just had to find a way to get him back without getting caught. Or injured. And if Nappa caught wind, it would mean another damned lecture. The big Saiyan had been sitting on their tails for days and being a giant buzz-kill.

It never occurred to Vegeta that maybe Raditz was done with their contest and would have been glad to declare Vegeta the winner.

Vegeta paused and stretched out his arms, stiff from holding up the paint gun. As he did so, he glanced sideways at Raditz. The long haired adolescent did not notice the attention; he was concentrating so hard that the tip of his tongue stuck out. Clearly, Raditz was too caught up in his own thoughts, likely coming up with his next move as he tried to outsmart the prince.

As Vegeta refilled the tank on his back from the paint vat, a large drop fell on the tip of his white and yellow boots, adding insult to injury. " _Tapa_ ," he cursed, and tried to wipe it away. It did not help. Unless Raditz could remove the stain somehow, he would be stuck with those marks for months until they were eligible for new gear. The rest of his armor had also become a tapestry of drips and drops as well, because Vegeta did not dare to be out in public without some rudimentary form of protection.

And now, he looked like a frigging abstract painting, as did Raditz. Then, an idea formed. Perhaps they could not prank each other at the moment, but they could still have fun and see what they could get away with. As long as there was no evidence of goofing off when Dodoria showed up, no one would be the wiser.

"Hey Raditz. Check this out!" With a gleeful expression, Vegeta pointed his wand at one of the unfinished walls and let loose a stream of maroon paint on the surface. With a deft hand, he wrote the clever epitet "Dodoria sucks balls" upon the dingy surface, followed by a giant picture of a penis and finally a drawing of the magenta General with a giant set of tits. Then he stepped back to admire his handiwork, a wide grin on his face. It was a small rebellion, but it felt good.

"What the hell are you doing, Vegeta?" Raditz' eyes opened wide, and he glanced over one shoulder in case Dodoria magically appeared.

"Live a little, Hairball. We're going to paint over it anyways. I'm fucking bored as hell and if I don't have a little fun, I'm going to explode. You like to have fun, don't you?"

Raditz clicked his tongue, and his brows knit together into one dark and hairy line on his forehead. "This is totally juvenile, Vegeta."

"We _are_ juveniles," Vegeta pointed out as he wrote several more swear words on the wall, along with several obscene gestures and observations about people's mothers.

"Speak for yourself," Raditz hissed. He looked caught between wanting to laugh and wanting to piss himself.

"C'mon, try it. They'll never know. And just think, every time Twinkletoes or Dodoria walk by here, we'll be flicking them off. Nappa can't bitch at us, and no one's getting hurt either. It's a win-win."

Raditz rolled his eyes and grumbled. He did not join in the fun. He didn't even write a slightly naughty word. He kept his attention on his work. "Glad you're having fun, but I want to get this done before I start growing a beard. Besides, you should get this painted over before our pink kitsitter shows up and we're stuck scrubbing toilets."

Normally Vegeta would have balked at Raditz telling him what to do, but he was in a good mood. However, Raditz' refusal to participate was starting to irk him. "Fah! When did you become such a _fri'va_?"

"Taunting me isn't going to work, Vegeta. One of us has to be an adult, here." Then to Vegeta's astonishment, the older boy turned away and continued his work. Not only that, but he filled his paint tank with red and began to paint over the graffiti with a steady hand. He kept his face calm, tail wrapped and out of the way, and refused to make eye contact with the prince any further.

"I need a better adult then," Vegeta muttered as he glowered at Raditz' back. How could the other Saiyan just … not participate? Had he finally decided to admit defeat? "Well, I win then. You can't say I don't know how to have fun anymore, Raditz."

With an exasperated sigh, Raditz rolled his shoulders and shook out his long mane that had been pulled back into a thick braid. "Fine, _ve'ho_. You win. Happy? Let's just get back to work."

Clearly, Raditz was just placating him now. Vegeta's good mood started to slip a little. Here he was, trying to make a tedious situation better, and Raditz was ruining it. The young royal's lips twisted into a frown. Maybe Raditz had decided to be a good boy, but Vegeta … just was not ready to be a mindless drone. He would make Raditz participate if it was the last thing he did.

He grinned that wicked, pointed grin that if Raditz had been looking, would have worried the other Saiyan youth. _You should have played along, Raditz_. The last Prince of Saiyans pointed the paint gun directly at Raditz and pulled the trigger. A dripping red blossom spread out on his backplate, looking almost like a bleeding wound.

"Hey! Watch it, Vegeta!"

"Whoops, my hand slipped." Vegeta snickered. "My bad."

A minute passed as they worked in silence, and then Vegeta turned the wand towards Raditz again and painted a crimson streak down the older boy's brown hip guard.

"Stop it," Raditz hissed and glared at Vegeta. "That's not funny!"

"Sure it is." For good measure, Vegeta shot a spray right in the middle of Raditz' chest and laughed.

"The hell's wrong with you, _ve'ho_? I said you won. Now cut it out!"

"Tch. What happened to 'you're not having fun, Vegeta' ? Are you just going to sit there and complain, or are you going to do something about it?"

Raditz did not rise to the bait. Instead, he crossed his arms and levelled an angry glaze at his prince. He towered over the royal, and if it were anyone else except for Vegeta, they would have been terrified by the raw anger on his face. "Seriously, Vegeta? Do you _want_ to do these shit jobs for the rest of our lives? We're already in enough hell from last time. And Nappa said no more pranks."

"Pft. Since when do we listen to Nappa?" Vegeta paused, then narrowed his eyes and spoke in a calculated tone. "Oh, I know. It's because you're afraid to get caught."

"I know what you're trying to do, Vegeta, and it's not going to work. Someone's got to be sensible. Besides, the money isn't coming out of your pocket when this goes bad. Which it will."

"What's the worst that can happen?"

Raditz rolled his eyes and refused to reply. He'd heard that gem a million times and it always went bad. The prince did not learn from his mistakes.

"Got it. Coward. Besides, what are they going to do to us? Make us paint the outside of the dome? Make us buff the floors? I'm sick of being the _ma'tapa_ janitors! We're warriors, by Blood and Battle!"

Even though Raditz refused to join in, Vegeta was not deterred. No, quite the opposite and Raditz probably should have known better. He kept dousing the other with drips and dabs while Raditz tried his best to concentrate and not give in. Although it was obvious by the look on his face and the set of his shoulders that he was getting more and more pissed off as each second ticked by.

Finally after being pelted nonstop, Raditz hit his limit. After all, he was a Saiyan warrior too and there was only so much harassment he was willing to take - even from his prince. So out of frustration he turned towards Vegeta and just pressed down the nozzle, sending a high pressure stream of paint towards Vegeta. However, the young royal moved out of the way at the last second, denying Raditz his revenge...

...Just as Dodoria and Zarbon came around the corner. The stream of paint hit Dodoria directly in the middle of his chest, splattered down his dark blue chestplate and misted into his face, leaving a fine crimson spray against his magenta skin. The massive General just stopped. An almost comical look of astonishment and shock came over his horned face as Dodoria gasped like a fish out of water. To his right, Zarbon gaped in astonishment and then started to chuckle, one manicured hand raised to his mouth. He had deftly moved out of the splash zone and was unmarked.

Vegeta and Raditz froze, caught red handed, as it were. Their mouths dropped open in horror, paint wands still in their hands, unsure of whether to flee or not.

"General Dodoria, I can -" Raditz spat out after a few horrifying seconds.

He did not have a chance to say anything else before Dodoria roared in fury, then moved fast as lightning and grabbed Raditz by the neck with one beefy hand. In one effortless move, he slammed Raditz into the wall so loud that his back plate cracked. Then Dodoria jacked the adolescent up so that his feet dangled in the air. "You're dead, you stupid monkey!"

With his other hand, Dodoria charged up a bright globe of pulsing white Ki, his lips drawn back in a snarl. For once, Vegeta did not have a ready comeback or excuse. His mind just blanked and he stood still like a mannequin, his limbs frozen, while Raditz choked and gasped for breath. The older Saiyan pulled at the wide fingers in a vain attempt to free himself. His face started to turn red; his eyes glanced to Vegeta, then to Zarbon.

" _Ve'ho_ ," Raditz gasped, "Do something!"

It sounded like Raditz' voice was coming from very far away. Dodoria was going to kill Raditz, and there was nothing Vegeta could do about it because his traitorous body and mind had betrayed him.

"What is all this fuss about," said a familiar voice that made the blood run cold in Vegeta's veins. The Ice-jin glided into view in his personal hovercraft, his face a combination of disgust and impatience. "This had better be –"

Frieza stopped speaking as he took in the graffitti covering the wall in garish red, in all of its childish and obscene glory. The diminutive tyrant stared wordless for a minute, his eyes narrowed as he took in the scene. Next to him, Zarbon stood with one hand over his mouth while Dodoria raged and fumed, the Ki ball frozen in his palm while Raditz choked and kicked, his face slowly turning redder.

The seconds crawled by. Frieza floated up and out of his craft, touched down, and padded toward the Saiyans. His hands folded behind his back, and his tail waved in a slow arc with the occasional twitch of the tip as he inspected their handiwork. One side of his mouth curled up and his eyes narrowed. Vegeta expected him to rant, but instead of flying into an overdramatic rage he grew silent instead. One clawed finger tapped against his purple lips. Vegeta steeled himself, for possibly these were his last few seconds left alive, the paint wand clutched still in his frozen digits.

"Dodoria, put that monkey down."

"But boss, he - "

"Now, Dodoria," Frieza ordered.

Dodoria growled low in the back of his throat, but complied with Frieza's command. When released, Raditz slid down the newly painted wall, leaving behind a red smear. He gasped for breath and rubbed at his throat for a few seconds.

Frieza padded up closer to Raditz, avoiding the pools of drying paint, and looked down at the young Saiyan. Then he tutted and turned towards Vegeta, snared the young royal in his gaze. "Is _this_ what you monkeys do in your spare time? Deface my property with your profanity?"

"I - I – " Vegeta stuttered.

Zarbon appeared angry now, as if to agree with the tyrant, but one corner of his mouth started to tic as if suppressing a smile. "I'm surprised that they can even spell."

Frieza did not smile. His lips pressed into a thin line and he tsked. Then he turned towards Zarbon and spoke in an aside. "I wouldn't be so smug if I were you, Zarbon. After all, you are responsible for the work schedules."

Zarbon's face colored, and he averted his eyes. "Yes, Lord Frieza."

"Tsk, what a mess. What would possibly possess you to do such a thing, Vegeta?"

This was it, the end. Vegeta could not think of a good excuse to save their hides. Hell, he could not even think of a _bad_ excuse, outside of pointing a finger at Raditz and saying 'he did it.' But that was too low for Vegeta to stoop to. His tongue was still frozen, so he could not offer up excuses or apologies, not that it would have mattered. They were guilty, guilty as sin and no amount of talking would get them out of it

"Lord Frieza asked you a question, boy," Zarbon hissed. "I suggest you answer it."

"We were going to paint it over," Vegeta managed to stutter and then wanted to kick his own ass. Raditz groaned in the background.

Both Zarbon and Dodoria stared at the prince's audacity, their mouths gaping open. Frieza blinked.

 _Now it's going to happen_. _He's just going to incinerate us for messing up the Dome, for inconveniencing him_. Vegeta resisted the base urge to close his eyes. Instead he kept them wide open; he would meet his death while looking it full in the face. They were going to die. Nappa was right, they had gone too far.

Frieza started to smile, a horrid sight. Then he opened his mouth. First, he started to chuckle, a low sound, and then it progressed to a full laugh. "Oh hohoho! Going to paint over it, were you? What a mess, Zarbon. I told you that our dear monkeys weren't suited for such tasks since they so enjoy flinging things at each other. Ah ha ha … oh such classic comments, my dear little monkeys. This is why I keep you around – for the entertainment factor."

Vegeta blinked in shock, and he could feel his limbs again. He still clutched the paint wand in both hands, evidence of his guilt. What was going on? He had been sure that Frieza was going to murder then all, but the Ice-jin was laughing instead!

"Want I should do something about them, boss?" Dodoria cracked his knuckles, a horrid leer on his face. It was clear he wished to exact some punishment.

"Not right now, Dodoria. We have business to attend to. Now go and get yourself cleaned up. I can't have you looking like this for my meeting with Father. It just won't do."

"Right away, sir." Dodoria gave a quick bow, then pointed a large pink finger in the Saiyans' direction. "If I catch you monkeys alone, you're dead." He turned with odd grace, and rumbled away like a sentient boulder on legs.

Then Frieza returned his attention to Vegeta, still standing frozen, and Raditz still stumped down. He was smiling now, and it was a terrifying sight. "Now as for you two..."

Zarbon cleared his throat, then came up next to Frieza. "Allow me to handle this, Lord Frieza. I don't wish for you to be late." Then the aide and the tyrant seemed to have a wordless exchange. Frieza seemed to consider for a moment, one finger to his black lips, then he waved a hand in Zarbon's direction.

"Very well, Zarbon. I don't have time for such monkey business." With those words, Frieza's eyes bored into Vegeta's black ones. "And I expect this place to be cleaned up when I return, Vegeta. Don't disappoint me." Then he departed without a further word as if the entire situation had not occurred.

Once Frieza was out of sight, Zarbon became truly furious. His teal skin darkened, and his lips drew back into a snarl. It was not a good look for him. "The both of you should count yourselves lucky that you did not catch Lord Frieza up in your idiocy," he snapped. "And don't think for a moment that I don't know who's behind this, Vegeta. One more wrong step or wrong word … and Lord Frieza will decide that you are not worth the hassle."

Not sure what to say, Vegeta just opted for a nod. He still did not trust himself to speak in the face of Zarbon's wrath. He had never seen the effeminate aide so furious before. In a fit of self-preservation, he dropped the paint wand and placed his closed fist to his chest.

"Raditz, get up and go get changed." Zarbon commanded. "You have to work tonight, and I will not reschedule again."

Raditz scrambled to his feet, placed his hand over his heart in quick obeisance, and made himself scarce. As he left he looked over one shoulder back at Vegeta. Then, the prince was left alone with Zarbon.

"Now you …" Zarbon came close, so close that he towered over the small Saiyan. "You will clean up this filthy and churlish _mess_ by yourself, and then you will finish up your scheduled work, also by yourself. I don't care if it takes you all night, you _will_ finish it. You can be sure I will also be reporting this to your guardian. I will be checking on you personally, and if one thing is out of place I will rain hell upon your head. Have I made myself clear, or do I need to use tiny words?"

Vegeta glared at Zarbon. "Yes," he muttered and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What was that?"

"I said, yes!"

"You had better. Now, get to work!" With a final glare, Zarbon flipped his braid, turned his nose up and marched after Frieza, his blue cape fluttering behind him.

Vegeta stood in shock, blinking. By all rights, Raditz should have died. _He_ should have died. All over a few curse words and dirty drawings. Frieza had killed people for less, so what had just happened? Had he been spared by _Chale_ or by something far more sinister? Regardless, Vegeta knew that he was more than lucky… and the time for games was over.

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 **A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Only one more chapter to go.**

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 **Firestorm1991: Even though Raditz is the wiser of the two, he sometimes doesn't think it through. He underestimates Vegeta's reactions, sadly. Yep, and Nappa will keep giving that speech. :D**

 **Guest: Only one more chapter to go after this one. Glad you've liked the story so far.**

 **Vegebulluv: Vegeta is not as grown up as he liked to pretend, is he? You'd think he'd know when to call it quits, but as this recent chapter proves the learning curve is a bit broken. He need not worry, because Raditz at least knows how to keep his mouth shut and be a team player. Nappa being a prank victim? Well, he has been untouched so far. We'll have to see what Vegeta comes up with. Thanks for leaving an awesome review as always, and hope you enjoyed Chp 5**


	6. The Last Laugh

Credit where credit is due:

The Saiyan language I use is a creation of MegaKat

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Che ne Ji'ta - (By) Blood and Battle

Heu - gods

M'yo - my/mine

Jik'hiu - asshole

Ji'tach - a Saiyan fighting team

Ma'tapa - general swear word

Ve'ho - prince

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 **A/N: A big 'thank you' to all who have read and reviewed, favorited and followed over the months. I hope that you've enjoyed reading this story as much as I have writing it. If you've liked this glimpse into the world of our Saiyan trio, feel free to check out my other work "You Can Break Me but You Can't Take My Pride". It is the main story line that this short work is based in.**

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Frieza and Zarbon departed without a further look in his direction and Vegeta was left to his own devices, which was normally a bad idea. Instead of choosing to continue his personal rebellion, Vegeta decided to err on the side of caution 'for once in his life,' as Nappa would have said. Not because he was afraid … no, not the Prince of Saiyans, but because he did not trust that his odd fortune would hold out. If there was anything Vegeta could count on, it was that he _could not_ count on Frieza. The chances of the Ice-jin continuing to turn a blind eye to any 'monkey business' were slim to none, and Vegeta really wanted to continue to draw breath. After all, if he were dead he could not get his revenge.

As promised, Dodoria came by frequently to breathe down his neck. The spiky magenta warrior made thinly veiled threats and took every opportunity to trip Vegeta up and slow him down even further. As a result, Vegeta had no time for further shenanigans. He did not even dare to write clever epithets on Frieza's floor, as originally planned. As the day wore into night Vegeta became more cranky, hungry, and annoyed. Here he was laboring alone, while Raditz got to go to some stupid party, ponce around in fancy clothes, and stuff himself on the leftovers. It just wasn't fair.

Vegeta finished up so late that he missed both dinner and breakfast at the mess hall, much to his chagrin. After the last stroke of paint had been applied, he allowed himself to crouch down for a few seconds and flex his sore hands. He wanted nothing more than to go home, but he could not leave until Zarbon cleared him... and who knew where Twinkletoes was now? The last Saiyan prince cleared his throat and rubbed at his eyes. How the hell was he so fatigued? Vegeta had spent days at a time purging and fighting nonstop, yet a few days of painting had every muscle in his body knotted and sore. It did not make sense.

Normally, Dodoria was on his tail whenever he turned around; now that he was done the fat pink General was nowhere to be found. Irritated, Vegeta ran one hand through his wild mane, now liberally streaked with red. It almost looked like he had suffered a head wound.

All he wanted to do was go home, eat and sleep. A prince should not have to wait, so he sent off a message to Twinkletoes to let him know he had completed the job. He did not want to leave the supplies on the worry that some asshole would come along, undo all of his work, and then he would be blamed for it. After sending off a message, he squatted on his haunches and closed his eyes for just a few seconds.

Frieza was offsite, so there were no guards to keep an eye on. No one came to the penthouse unless they had to. Vegeta was alone, alone as one could be in a crowded dome with thousands of soldiers. The silence was oppressive, as if Frieza's aura still remained even though the tyrant was absent. He nearly jumped out of his skin when a 'ding' sounded down the hall and the lift doors started to slide open. Embarrassed, Vegeta scrambled to his feet and quickly smoothed down the hairs on his tail before he wrapped it around his waist.

Zarbon stepped out of the car, followed by Raditz. He had not even bothered to reply to the message. Perhaps he had been hoping to catch Vegeta off guard, or having abandoned his post. The teal being's golden eyes had a glazed look as he scanned over the long hallway to the penthouse, the polished doors, and Vegeta himself. His immaculate hair had a few pieces out of place, and he seemed less proper than usual. Raditz walked behind him and to the right. The tall Saiyan was clean, free of any traces of paint. His face looked peaked and weary, although his eyes seemed almost too wide. He likely was still hopped up on whatever stimulant Zarbon had fed to him.

"It's finished." Vegeta crossed his arms as the teal General came up. It took a lot of willpower not to slump his shoulders. He wanted to sag down, but stood with his spine straight and met Zarbon's gaze dead-on. "Can I go now?"

Zarbon's lips curled up in disdain at the Saiyan's ragged appearance. "We'll see," he replied. Then he strolled around, hands behind his back as he inspected Vegeta's work. Vegeta was forced to stand at attention the entire time. The Saiyan waited for Twinkletoes to find some imagined fault or do some dick move like sticking a manicured finger into the paint out of spite, but Zarbon just looked down his pointy nose at the young prince.

After taking his sweet-ass time, Zarbon sniffed."Well…It's good enough, I suppose." Vegeta expected Zarbon to add on, "for a monkey" or toss in some other insult, but it did not come. "At least, on first glance. But know this, Vegeta; if I find that you've slacked off or I hear any complaints - any at all - you will do it over again and _again_ until it's perfect. Even if it takes you the rest of your miserable little life."

Vegeta was just too tired and annoyed to do much else but nod. Without a further word, Zarbon turned and started back towards the lift; his blue cloak fluttered behind him in dramatic fashion. Gods, even his _walk_ was arrogant. Vegeta and Raditz followed in his snooty shadow, and the three rode in silence. The door opened three floors down, and Zarbon exited to go sleep in his deluxe Elite suite, in a real bed. The lucky bastard.

"Good night, Master Zarbon," Raditz said and Vegeta rolled his eyes. Zarbon gave a small nod of acknowledgment but did not reply.

 _Kiss that ass a little more_ , Vegeta thought, but did not rib Raditz for it. Besides, Raditz' second job with the effeminate aide had many benefits for the _ji'tach_. Raditz was taking one for the team, so there was no reason to rub it in even more. Besides, he still felt a little bad for almost getting Raditz dead over an act of harmless fun. Once the elevator started downward again and they were alone, Vegeta sighed and allowed himself to slump a bit. He could let his guard down. Raditz was safe. Raditz understood. And if he did not, he was wise enough not to say anything out loud.

Now that Zarbon was gone, Raditz ran one hand over his face and pressed the bridge of his nose. He looked so worn out that Vegeta almost felt sorry for him.

"Well… that could have gone much worse," Vegeta said. He was half-joking, half-serious.

Raditz clicked his tongue, a nonverbal expression that Saiyans often used when agreeing with someone and grumbled. He did not make eye contact with Vegeta. "Understatement of the friggin' century, _ve'ho_. I could have been dead and you …" Raditz snorted, clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. He seemed to come to a decision. He was the reasonable one, after all. "You know what? Never mind. Getting in a fight over what's done isn't going to help. Let's go home, and get something to eat and chill."

Not that Raditz could have stood a chance against Vegeta in a fight, and he knew it. Raditz always knew when to submit to the prince's will ... to save himself.

"Fat chance of that," Vegeta mumbled. "Nappa's going to lecture us. He's got to know by now, I can't see Twinkletoes passing up a chance to make our lives hell."

"Don't call - " Raditz groaned and then huffed. "When _isn't_ Nappa lecturing us? Hells, I can quote him word for word now. Look, Vegeta, I know you have your pride but just do us both a favor, okay? Hang your head and pretend to be sorry." He held up his hands to forestall Vegeta's protests. "I know, I know. You don't have to _be_ sorry, Vegeta. Just … don't argue with Nappa. It'll rile him up more. Besides - and you can get mad at me all you want - he does have a legit reason to bitch at us. We _did_ get caught and we did totally ruin Dodoria's day ... although it was really funny, I have to admit."

"Heh … it was. I would have died happy seeing that look on his stupid ugly face. It was just priceless! It's worth Nappa screaming at us."

Raditz grinned, then punched Vegeta lightly on the arm in a show of camaraderie. "Besides, I can ply the big oaf with food when we get in."

"Yeah." Both Saiyans drifted off into their own thoughts. Then Vegeta side-eyed Raditz and quickly looked away. What would he have said to Nappa if he had returned without Raditz? That odd sensation of … guilt and responsibility washed over him. "So, I guess that's it for the contest."

"Let's just call it a truce, _ve'ho_ , before things go really bad." The next step of 'bad' was annihilation, so Raditz did have a valid point.

They rode in silence a few more floors before Vegeta added, "Even though I won." He folded his arms across his chest and grinned.

"Yes ...even though you _won_." Raditz said in a clearly placating tone, but Vegeta for once did not mind much. He was too tired to have his usual princely wrath.

Before they punched in the door code to their apartment and walked into the waiting storm of Nappa's fury, Raditz stopped in his tracks. A small smile curved his lips and he placed one hand on the prince's shoulder. "Hang on, Vegeta. Before we go in...I know we said we're done pulling pranks but hear me out. We're already going to get yelled at by Nappa anyways, so why not make the best of it?"

Vegeta snorted, then raised one eyebrow in disbelief. " _You_ want to play a prank on _Nappa_? I'm listening."

Raditz grinned wide. It was a side of the older Saiyan that Vegeta did not get to see too often. "So… you're covered in all this red paint, right? I'll pick you up, you just go limp. I'll rush in the door, all frantic, and pretend I found you all bloodied up on the ground. Nappa's gonna lose his shit. It'll be hilarious… and maybe he'll be so damn worried about you that he'll forget to yell at us."

Vegeta was impressed. Raditz usually did not choose to cross Nappa. But sure, anything to delay another rant. "Very devious of you, Raditz. All right, I'm in."

"Ready?"

"Let's do it."

Raditz scooped up Vegeta bridal style, plastered a panicked look on his face, and then keyed the code in. For his part, Vegeta allowed his limbs to droop and his head to loll. It was an excellent acting job. Once the door was open just enough to squeeze his frame through, Raditz ran in full tilt.

Nappa leaped to his feet as they came in. His onyx eyes narrowed and his hands were balled up. His powerful tail lashed about almost as if it had a life of its own. He was clearly ready to launch into a furious diatribe. "Guess who I heard from a-fucking-gain? You boys are in a world of shit -"

When Nappa noticed Vegeta's blood-covered body laying limp in Raditz' arms, he immediately stopped yelling. " _Heu m'yo_ … wh-what happened?"

"I don't know! Gods, Nappa, I found him like this!"

"What?" Nappa tugged at his hair as his face went a sickly pale white. His tail frizzed out completely, and the scent of raw fear came from the giant Saiyan as he rushed over. "Put him down!"

The concern was touching, to know that Nappa actually cared, but still Vegeta had a hard time keeping still and his breathing shallow. However, he slit his eyes open just enough to see what was going on.

" _Che ne Ji'ta_ , who did this to him? Imma rip 'em limb from limb!" The look of concern and raw fear due to the copious amount of red splattered over Vegeta began to fade as Nappa actually inspected Vegeta's 'injuries'. "Waaaait. This doesn't look like blood at all. This looks like - "

Vegeta could not help it. He burst out laughing, joined by Raditz. Nappa did not join in. His eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open, clearly at a loss for words.

"I can't _believe_ you boys," Nappa roared. "I didn't know where either of ya were, or what you were doin' all night. Didn't know if Dodoria decided to beat the hell outta you, or worse! And now you two are playing more _pranks_?" Nappa's face turned bright red, including the entire top of his scalp. He looked so infuriated that Vegeta swore his guardian's head was about to pop off.

Between gales of laughter Vegeta managed to spit out, "I'm okay, Nappa, it's just paint. Don't get your tail in a twist!"

"That's not funny!" Nappa roared in anger and frustration. His tail lashed wide which knocked bottles and other objects off the table. He was ready to lash out, to strike the nearest thing. Raditz stopped laughing and backed up, because as the weakest he was usually the group's punching bag. Vegeta still chuckled - he was safe from the big Saiyan's wrath and he knew it.

"Nappa - " Vegeta sat up, propped himself up on one elbow so that he could look Nappa in the face. "I - "

Before Vegeta could get another word in, the large warrior glared down at the prince and bared his teeth. His face was twisted up and his black eyes both bleary and slitted. It was a mean look that Vegeta had rarely seen on his guardian's face, and he did not like it one bit. It was the look of a man who had had enough.

"Graffiti? On the Elite's floor?" Nappa shouted at full volume, as if that were the worst of their offenses. Vegeta could smell alcohol. In response to his emotional state, eddies of Ki swirled around the big man. "What in the name of Blood and Battle is _wrong_ with you?"

Damn. Clearly, distractions would not work this time. Nappa was already on his way to being shitfaced and when he was drunk… He could go on for hours about team unity and _ji'tach_ and Saiyan pride until Vegeta wished _he_ was either drunk or dead. And it wasn't like Vegeta had a good excuse for his behavior.

Vegeta sighed and rubbed at his grainy eyes. He had been up for over a day, working constantly, and he was out of steam. Worse, he knew that he'd fucked up. "Look, I'm hungry and tired. Can't the lecture wait?"

Nappa rumbled, "No, Vegeta! Y'purposely ignored what I said. Yer gonna sit there, shut up, and listen fer once! I'm yer guardian and yer elder, and I deserve some damn respect!"

Half out of surprise and half out of sheer exhaustion, Vegeta closed his mouth. He did not even lodge his usual complaint that he was not a child, or point out that he was already seated. Hell, he just wanted to get the yelling over with.

"Ya tryin' to get dead? What were ya _thinkin'_ , boy? I can't even figure out why the hell Dodoria didn't make you two into smears on the wall! Is that what you're tryin' to do, _ve'ho?_ "

"It was just a bit of harmless fun, Nappa. No one got hurt." Vegeta missed the sidelong glance Raditz sent his way.

"Harmless?" Nappa's mouth opened and closed, his eyes comically wide. If he had not been so intoxicated it would have been amusing. "Y'nearly got Raditz killed, Vegeta, because of yer stupidity. Ya realize that, right? _Heu_ , why can't you two just hit each other a few times and sort your shit out like normal Saiyans?"

Nappa towered over him, breathing fumes and raging. Vegeta hunched down out of instinct and drew in on himself. The hairs on his neck started to bristle, he felt his breathing increase. He was the most powerful Saiyan alive, but at that moment he felt like a little kit. He hated that feeling. It did not help that he was hungry, tired, and beyond ready to be done with this shit. Yet, he also knew how lucky he was to still be breathing air. Nappa was right. They were being childish, stupid. Yet Vegeta just could not seem to concede that point, no matter how tired he was. If he did, he would never hear the end of it.

"Twinkletoes was laughing, and so was Frieza," Vegeta offered up in a futile attempt to diffuse the situation. It did not work, only pissed Nappa off more.

"I don't care! I told you boys it'd go too far. The only reason Frieza stepped in was his bottom line, an' Twinkletoes too. So guess what, smart asses? Yer done. It's time ta _stop_ fucking around and act like yer _ji'tach_! Got it?" Nappa started ticking off on his fingers. "No more pranking each other. No more fucking nonsense that could get us all sent off to some prison world or worse. You boys wanna wash dishes for the rest of yer lives? Wanna eat mess hall slop and protein cubes? Wanna never see the sun again? Cuz that's what's gonna happen if you two don't cut this shit out! And then we're never gonna get out of this hole you've sunk us into."

"Yes, _heu_ , Nappa! I got it!" Vegeta wanted to punch the old man in the face at this point. "I'm not deaf! And you're spitting on me!"

"Good. I don't wanna have to repeat myself any more."

 _I don't want you to repeat yourself either,_ Vegeta thought.

"Now you two shake hands," Nappa ordered.

"Seriously? What, do you want us to apologize to each other too? Maybe hug it out?" Vegeta rolled his eyes, and glanced at Raditz who had wisely moved out of throwing range. "Look, we get it. Yay team! We learned our lesson. I swear it."

"You'd better not be yankin' my tail, here. Breaking an oath is serious, _ve'ho_."

"Auugghh… I know, I'm not an idiot! Just shut up about it, Nappa! That's an order!" With that, Vegeta crossed his arms and ended the conversation, if it even was one. He hated the feeling that anything Nappa said during his drunken rant might have an element of truth, that they were their own worst enemies.

Stymied, Nappa stamped around and waved his arms. Then he just stopped in his tracks and took a few deep breaths to calm himself. It was an impressive feat of will. "Ya know what? I'm not doin' this right now 'cuz clearly ya don't give a shit, Vegeta! Im'ma sit down, get plastered, enjoy my tittie flicks, and drink 'tilI I pass out. I'll yell at you two more in the morning."

The old warrior seemed worn out, out of steam, his fury vented on his charges. True to his word Nappa raided the fridge, grabbed the rest of the ale in one big hand, and then sat down heavily on the beaten mustard yellow couch. The springs groaned in protest. Raditz began making food while Vegeta tried in vain to clean himself up. His armor was a lost cause, unless Raditz could work some magic later. Gods, he hoped so because he did not want to have to go to the armory and request a new set.

Once the meal was prepared, the three did not speak to each other. Instead of their usual banter, they picked at their food and stared at each other in an awkward and sullen silence. The tension was so thick that the air itself felt heavy. Once he was done eating, Nappa left his bowl and returned to polishing off every ounce of liquor in the apartment. Vegeta let him be in hopes the older Saiyan would drink himself into a forgetful stupor and this would all blow over. Anything to keep from having to apologize.

Raditz, as the lowest ranking member of their _ji'tach_ , was on cleanup duty as well as cooking. Sure, Vegeta could have helped but he'd be damned if being prince didn't come with some perks. Besides, if he did help then Raditz might get it in his head that was a regular thing. To prevent any further guilting or arguments, Vegeta decided to get some sleep himself. He'd been up all night and had practically fallen asleep in his food. He shuffled to his bunk and fell down on the mattress face first.

When Vegeta awoke, someone had removed both his boots and his scouter - likely Raditz. For a second, Vegeta felt disoriented, almost confused. It felt like his limbs were filled with lead and his head with cotton. And, of course, he was starving again.

 _Tapa, how long was I out? Did I oversleep?_ He scrubbed at his eyes, then checked his tablet. He squinted at the numbers in disbelief. _It's only been a few hours_?

Vegeta opened the privacy curtain and wandered back into their living space, hoping for leftovers. The screen blared loud, tuned in to some idiotic pablum of news and sports that most soldiers seemed to enjoy. The last scraps of the evening meal had been eaten, much to his dismay, and the used dinnerware lay scattered on the coffee table. Nappa had sprawled out on the couch; he was so tall that his legs dangled over the armrest and there was no room for anyone else. The big warrior lay with one hand cushioning his head, and held onto a bottle with the other, dead asleep. Raditz had taken one of the beaten up chairs and tried to remove the paint stains from his chestplate. Vegeta's armor was by his side, already cleaned up.

"Eh, _ve'ho_. Let me work on your hair." Raditz said.

It was an offer to settle, to make peace, Vegeta knew. And sometimes, that was all he wanted too. He settled down on the floor in front of Raditz, legs crossed.

As the older adolescent ran his fingers through Vegeta's snarled mop, he hissed in disapproval. "Tch, this has set in. You really should have combed it out earlier. Don't get pissy if I have to pull on it."

Vegeta glared at him. "What are you, my nursemaid?"

"You're welcome to do this yourself," Raditz coomented, in a cheery tone. They both knew that Vegeta would not.

Then both fell into a comfortable silence as Raditz groomed him. It was a daily routine the two shared that helped to keep their bonds strong, and was now even more important when tensions were high. Raditz detangled the prince's wiry hair, then ran the combs through to smooth the locks and massage the scalp. Vegeta allowed himself to relax and be soothed by the familiar sounds and scents of home … if you could call the crappy studio apartment the three of them shared _home_.

After a while, Nappa began to snore, a loud, rumbling noise that disturbed Vegeta's routine and his inner peace. Nappa always snored, but it was worse when he had been on a drinking binge. Vegeta considered tossing something into that open chasm or pinching Nappa's nose shut to get the big Saiyan to stop, but he was too comfortable to move.

As if he could read Vegeta's thoughts, Raditz began to chuckle. "Nappa's catching flies again."

"He should hurry up and finish the job," Vegeta grumbled.

The two shared a laugh at Nappa's expense. Then he began to snore louder, as if he had heard Vegeta. It was like standing next to the engine of a space cruiser getting ready to take off. Vegeta hissed in annoyance, and poked Nappa in the forearm with his tail. When that had no effect, he jabbed the older male in the face. But Nappa did not wake, did not stir.

"Damnit," Vegeta scowled and glared at his guardian. A Ki blast could probably go off in his face and Nappa would sleep through it. Sometimes, Vegeta envied him for that. Then - a great idea came to Vegeta and a devious look came over his face. "Hey Raditz, want to have some fun?"

Raditz raised one eyebrow. "More fun? What kind?" he answered cautiously. "He said no more pranks. Maybe we should just call it a day."

"Well… Nappa said that we couldn't prank each _other_ , right? But he never said that we couldn't prank _him_. He's dead asleep … we could do anything to him!"

"I don't know, _ve'ho..._ "

"It'll be our last laugh, Raditz. This is exactly what you were talking about in the beginning: Having a good time, learning to laugh, working together blah blah blah. Like Nappa always goes on about, _ji'tach_ and teamwork and all that. Right? Besides, what can he do to me, really? I outpower and outrank him. He's a big blow hard. I think Nappa needs a sense of humor."

The irony of Vegeta criticizing someone else for not having a sense of humor was not lost on Raditz.

"Seriously, just one last prank and we're done. Swear on my tail."

Raditz blinked in surprise. Vegeta never said such things. Perhaps the prince _had_ learned to lighten up a bit. "Heh. I've got just the thing, _ve'ho_."

Raditz stood and stretched, then rolled his shoulders. He opened up his repair kit, a collection of tools he had used earlier to fix their armor and extend its usefulness. He selected a fine-tipped pen that he used to touch up color on the scuffed plates, then leaned over Nappa and began to draw on the old warrior's face. Nappa snorted and flapped one hand, as if shooing an insect, then continued to snore but showed no sign of waking.

This was almost too easy! Vegeta and Raditz took turns using Nappa's flesh as an impromptu canvas and cackled the entire time. After a while, they grew bored, wandered off to sleep, and left their handiwork for Nappa to find the next day.

Nappa woke first, as he usually did, and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. His back had a crick in it from sleeping in an awkward position, his mouth was dry as a desert, and his head throbbed with a dull ache. He rose to a sitting position, then stretched out with arms to the ceiling. He felt each vertebra pop. The screen was still on, had been all night. It had become background noise, and no one paid attention to it anymore. With blurred vision, he peered around the living space. Bottles littered the table, but the plates had been cleared up. Well, at least that had been taken care of.

He stood, tested his balance, then took one experimental step. _Heu_ , maybe he had overdone it last night. When he did not topple over, he started a slow shuffle towards the bathroom for his morning absolutions, scratched at his prickly beard and smacked his lips, still half asleep. The privacy curtain to the sleeping area was drawn, the boys still not up. That was fine, sometimes Nappa liked to have time to himself before he had to deal with Raditz's adolescent temper tantrums and the prince's ego. And, lately, the escalating practical jokes. Nappa was as fond of a good laugh as any other Saiyan, but enough was enough when it compromised the unity of the team. That, and Vegeta's idea of fun often resulted in bloodshed.

Nappa grabbed his razor, and leaned down to look at his reflection in the mirror, ready to shave off the neverending stubble. His eyes were gummy and he was still hungover as hell, but he could still see that there was something on his face and arms. He blinked a few times to clear his vision and then... he just stared. He could not believe what he was seeing.

Scrawled all over his face, head and arms were such witticisms as "Frieza rules", "Boobs", "I love Ginyu", several versions of the royal symbol, badly done drawings of bananas and other various objects, and on his forehead was something that looked suspiciously like a penis.

 _Blood and Battle, what the HFIL?_ Nappa tried to remove the marks, but to his horror they remained no matter how much he scrubbed. Those little _jik'iu_ had used indelible ink!

A rumble started deep in his chest and built up, like a volcano ready to erupt, then the words exploded from his mouth in a deafening roar. "BOOOOOOOOYS! I'm gonna murder you both!"

He kicked the door open, stomped around the corner and yanked the curtain back with such force that it pulled off the rod. Both Raditz and Vegeta were awake, sitting up, and covering their mouths to stifle their laughter. When they saw Nappa's furious red expression, they could not help it. They pointed at him and burst into raucous uncontrollable laughter while Nappa fumed. After a few minutes, both boys' faces were beet red and tears of mirth streamed down their cheeks.

"Ah hahaha, Nappa! You should have seen your face!" Vegeta snorted. "It was totally worth it!"

That sent them off on another round of snickers, celebratory tail bumps, and punching each other in the biceps.

"Ya done? You two are in a world of hurt," Nappa threatened, once the snickers subsided enough for him to get a word in. "I can't believe you two would be so childish! And I thought I told ya, no more pranks!"

"But Nappa, you never said we couldn't prank _you_. And at least you can't say we didn't do something together."

* * *

 **Well, that's it for our Saiyan boys' prankfest! Vegeta never really learns, does he? I will reply to any comments left for this last chapter in PM. Thanks for reading!**

 **Vagus: Thanks so much! I'm glad you like seeing behind the scenes of the Frieza Force. It was something I always wondered about, how they lived. They can't always be out committing genocide. There is a reason why Frieza and Zarbon did not smite our Saiyan boys, but that's for another story. Really. Sadly it takes near death to get a message home to Vegeta … but it may not stick. And Raditz really tried… I hope that you enjoyed this final chapter. Thanks for your support :)**

 **Vegebulluv: It WAS an all out paint war. :) Who would ever think that Frieza of all people would save the day? Really, Vegeta deserved to finish the job on his own since he was the prime instigator… but he sure disagrees with that one. Thanks for commenting and supporting my works!**

 **Firestorm1991: True, it could have been worse. Even Vegeta gets a break every now and then, saved by Frieza's capricious moods. A sensible person would have given up a while go, but that's not in his nature. He may think he's mature, but he's still a kid whether he admits it or not. Thanks for your beta work, and thoughtful comments.**


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